Thursday, August 26, 2010

Things I hate about Mass: Part 1...

1. The roads. There are a lot of potholes and they never seem to be able to fix them, and when they do get around to fixing it, it just comes back a few months later.

2. The drivers. No one around here knows how to fucking drive! They don’t know how to work a 4 way stop, that green means go, that the gas is on the right, or how to do the damn speed limit.

3. The weather. Mother Nature has serious PMS here.

4. The crosswalk law. Now it was a good idea in theory, however people seem to think it means you can cross ANYWHERE you please and people have to stop.

5. The people. The people here are some rude ass mother fuckers who think they are better than everyone else and will just push and shove people out of their way without even so much of an excuse me.

6. The road sings. Or should I say lack, there of? Sure, you’ll know every cross road but never know what road you’re actually on. And if there is a cross road sign, it’s blocked by trees or so far back you can’t see it.

7. The traffic. Sure there’s traffic everywhere, however, people here have to stop for EVERYTHING, at least in Florida and Chicago, there may be traffic but at least they are MOVING.

8. My graduating class. Yes, half, if not more, of my graduating class lives here. You know, most of the people that I can’t stand.

9. The Wicked Witch of the West lives here. ‘Nuff said.

10. The beaches. The beaches suck here, they aren’t pretty, they’re nasty and there’s nothing to do there.

11. Dog parks. Oh right, there aren’t any. Well there’s very few and there’s none in my area.

12. Everything shuts down at 10pm. If it’s not a bar or a club, don’t expect to miss Late Night, around here.

13. No all year round riding. Unless you’re like my dad, you won’t want to ride your motorcycle in the snow.

14. No hot girls in bikinis. Around here they actually put on a shirt to go into a store in the summer. Who knew?

15. No Ghirardelli. ‘Nuff said.

16. No good amusement parks. 6 Flags is a pathetic excuse for fun when you compare it to just what the whole state of Florida has.

17. Allergies. Mass gave me allergies, I’ve never had them, then I move back here and BAM, I’m sniffling, sneezing and have watery eyes.

18. Tolls. Yes there are tolls in Florida, but at least they know how to construct a good Fast pass/Sun pass lane. Here you still have to slow down to about 10mph.

19. Speed Limits. Speed Limits here suck. You get a somewhat populated area and you have to slow to 25/30mph. I mean come on people, If I can do 55/60mph on OBT that has more traffic/lights on a daily basis then the Natick mall during Christmas, you can too.

20. Old people drivers. Apparently if you’re above the age of 65 and live in New England, you can’t drive. This year and last year we had like 15 old people drivers either run into people or buildings and they usually drive slow as shit. Yet in Florida, we have more old people and you never hear about them driving into stuff.

This is all I have so far, but as I think of more I'll post it..

Sunday, August 1, 2010

It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over wine. -- Heraclitus

It makes me laugh when people try to piss me off. I just let it roll right off of my back and laugh, because I know it doesn’t matter what they say, especially when they’re drunk. You can call me anything you want and say anything you want about me. I don’t care. I know who I am. I’m truthful. I’m blunt. I can be cocky. I’m sarcastic. I’m a real bitch, when I want to be.

However, it does annoy me when they start harassing me. (The definition of harassment is to disturb persistently; torment, as with troubles or cares; bother continually; pester; persecute. Or to trouble by repeated attacks, incursions, etc.)

What makes me laugh even harder is that they think they can win. But I know I’ll be winning this war, I’ll be wealthier and have a much better life than they can even dream of, that my friends, is the sweetest revenge.

And like my mother always said, “Don’t get mad, get even.” And you bet I will.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. --Oscar Levant